It's Been Called a Sisterhood

I was just getting ready to tip Mazzy back in the tub, and wash her hair, when my phone rang. "Hi Jodi, are you guys home?" came a worried voice through the phone. "Yeah! what's up?" I replied. The sweet worried mother on the other end was calling because her son appeared to be having an allergic reaction. The reaction was slow to develop, and it was hard to know for sure what was causing his symptoms. But, she just felt like something wasn't quite right. I made my way to her house, and together we talked about his symptoms. We discussed what our doctors had instructed us to do, and finally I supported her in the decision to take a trip to the E.R. Turns out, he was having a mild allergic reaction. They administered the needed treatment, and kept him for observation to make sure the reaction didn't progress.


When we first found out Mazzy had a peanut allergy, I had no idea how much this diagnosis would change our lives. One day as I scoured the internet for tips and tricks to help me navigate this complex new world I came across a comment, or post, or blog, I can't really remember what or where, but the words stuck with me...They referred to this community of Mom's working to keep their children safe as a "Sisterhood". At the time the words stuck, but I didn't truly feel their meaning. Last night as a knelt next to this loving mother, and her scared little boy, I felt the true weight of these words. I was grateful to know if I find myself in a similar situation, she would be there to walk me through my anxiety ridden thought process. I didn't do much last night, but reinforce her thoughts, and make her feel comfortable and confident in her decisions. But, I know how valuable that little bit of help can be in a confused and panicked moment.

 I am so blessed to know other Mom's that live within blocks of my home, that face the same challenges, and can offer tons of great advice and ideas. Not only am I blessed with the companionship of these wonderful sisters, but I have found wonderful support and friendship through many I have met online. It is amazing to have the ability to sign on to Facebook or Twitter, post a question, and to receive back words of wisdom and encouragement from other Moms facing the same trials within minutes.  I am so blessed to have such an amazing support system out there. It stinks that allergies have gotten so much more common than they once were, but in this has come the opportunity to be able to reach out and support each other through this trial. I know that I am not alone in this, and am grateful to be a part of this sisterhood.

The Power Of One Second.

"Just a second" I say over my shoulder as I attempt to finish wiping down the dining room table...but this is the very second my sweet 2 year old desperately needs me to find her paint brush. She is creeping into full melt down mode, and every second that ticks by gets us a touch closer to complete toddler devastation. In this moment I realize the power of the second. It's a tiny little space in time, and they pass each and every day without much thought or recognition. But in reality it only takes a split second for your life to completely change directions. It only takes this small glimpse of time for the powerful and the beautiful to take place. As I started to think on this a bit more I realized how blessed every second of my day can be if I only choose to look
for the blessings that they contain.
 The second I here "Mom" from the next bedroom in the morning. The second I get a sweet text message from my Darling wishing me a good day. And the second I step out the front door to feel the soft sun shine down on my cheeks. I realize how important it is to be here, now, in this very second. The T.V. is off, my baby is napping, and I hear nothing but the tick of the clock, and the clack of the computer keys. Right now things are at peace, and I am grateful. I spend so much of my time worrying about the future. Where will we eat on vacation this summer? It's going to be tricky to manage a food allergy outside the comfort of our home. What did the other children in her nursery class have for breakfast...and did they wash that peanut butter from their face and hands before rushing out the door? Where can I take her after our play date this weekend that will be as much fun as the Chick-fil-A play place the other little ones will be enjoying? But even as these thoughts and worries of the unforeseen, and usually manageable, future creep through my mind I am wasting tiny little seconds of my day. The truth is we will make it work. All of it. We wont starve on vacation, and she'll love to have a picnic lunch with me on the grass just as much as she would love Chick-fil-A. We could even blow some bubbles, maybe Grandma could meet us there. And truth is there is not one thing I can do to control what others have for breakfast, only what happens if she does have a reaction, so there's no use worrying about that either. I wonder how many seconds of my day are stolen away from me in a cloud of worry, doubt, and concern. I wonder how much more good I could be doing with my time, and my thoughts. So I now resolve to stop those sneaky second thieves, and allow myself to live in the present. To be here now. I promise to note the soft warm blanket that is draped across my lap. To smell the sweet bubbles drifting up from my little Scoot Boots bath. To notice, and be grateful for, the beautiful emergence of spring. And, to take those seconds back, and use them to show my loved ones that they are my world. It is up to me to teach my little one that although we must be very careful, and take certain steps to insure her safety, that the list of things in this world she can experience is so much longer than the things she can't. It is up to me to teach her how to find the beauty in the everyday, and be grateful for her many blessings. Life is beautiful. And now I am going to go live it! :)

Wipe the frosting off your fingers and ponder with me a moment!

     Today I am doing a little pondering.  I do more and more of that as I mature (get older).  No reason to say just how old I am, but we all know that I'm a Grandmother and so that would mean I have put a few years behind me.    
      Anyway back to the pondering.  This past year I have learned a lot about food allergies and the past several years I have learned a lot about sugar and carbs.  I like what I have learned.  I feel like I am healthier and happier physically, more informed mentally and more empathetic emotionally.
      Over the years I have experienced food in many different ways.  It has been a part of celebrations, a reward, a companion, a comfort and a delight!  Christmas couldn't possibly be Christmas without cherry pudding.  What would a camp out be without s'mores?  I've made birthday cakes in the shape of dump trucks and Barbies.  I've entered the Pillsbury Cook off (never winning, of course) and even won a local cooking contest with my famous marshmellow brownies.  I've bought sugary popsicles for a sick child, and special treats for 100% scores on spelling test.  I've rewarded my piano students with treats for every day of practice and I've achieved reverence in my church class with suckers and tootsie rolls.  I've popped popcorn for a movie, made hot chocolate for after tubing, and always had lemonade and cookies for when we got out of the pool.  I was first to sign up for room mother and spent hours making spider cakes for Halloween and sugar cookies for Valentines day.  If a neighbor was sick or having a hard time I've baked them a treat or some homemade bread.
     My goodness as I ponder I realize that food was apart of everything.  Good?  Bad?  Maybe neither, but worth pondering and considering what I have learned and how it has changed the way I look at food.
     My husband had always been borderline diabetic.  His Mother died of complications of diabetes.  He knew he should be watching his weight and what he ate, but how could he be asked to give up his chocolate milk and Snickers bar.  Anyway, it was borderline, right?
    Then it wasn't.  One check up several years ago it tipped the scales and now he had full blown type two diabetes.  Was he really overweight.  No.  Maybe only ten or twenty pounds, but did that matter?  No.  The prognosis was still the same.  If you don't do something now you will damage your body to the extent that you will experience blindness, amputation or death.  All consequences of untreated diabetes.  Ponder that!
      We began to see food a little differently that day and over the past few years as we have watched our carbs, refined flours, and sugars we have also become educated about good foods and eating habits.  We have learned that food can make you healthy or it can kill you.  We have chosen healthy and it is good.  My husband is no longer on any meds for diabetes and his numbers are back in the healthy zone.  Does that mean that we never eat a sweet treat or share a fry?  Of course not.  But we do it sparingly and we often replace it with a nice crispy apple or a healthy serving of salad.  It's great and we hope that it will help us stay healthy and backpacking for many years to come.
     Last year we learned that our little Mazzy Mae had a peanut allergy.  Would this mean more changes to our diet?  Certainly.  Could we make them and still be happy?  Sure.  Would it take some effort?  Yes, but well worth it.  And most of all would we learn from it and become better because of it?   I hope so.
     As I ponder my experience with food these last few years I am grateful that I am being taught.  Taught that food was meant to keep our bodies healthy, not cause disease.  Taught that food doesn't need to be part of a good time.  Taught that life isn't all about food and that even if it were I would sacrifice for those that I love so that they could be safe and healthy. 
     In a society plagued with food related health problems, obesity, and a rising population of food allergic children maybe we should all take a minute to ponder what role food plays in our lives and to make adjustments if we don't like what we see.  Let's find joy in a hike, a book, a friend, a hobby, a museum, a playground, a concert, a ballgame, a sunset, a snowstorm, a quiet moment, a crowded room... let's put food in it's place and always remember that life is wonderful with or without the cupcake!

Love for those that make food allergies a little easier!

Today Mazzy and I had the pleasure of attending our first Valentines Day party. My friend and neighbor Kalie put together such a sweet little Love Day themed play date, and bless her wonderful soul made it candy free so me and my little lady could attend without worries. The kids brought valentines to share that included pencils, stickers, kazoos, and glow bracelets. Not only are these items allergen free, but they last a whole lot longer than the usual candy hearts. So in honor of this affectionate holiday I thought I would give a shout out to some of the products and support teams that make my life as a food allergy Momma a little easier. So...in no particular order!

#1: F.A.R.E (aka. Food Allergy Research and Education) A year ago I had no idea what F.A.R.E was. Now I use them as a resource for dependable information, pintable's, and support. It means so much to me as a Momma that they work so hard to raise awareness, They have a big voice and are very wise in the way they use it. Thanks F.A.R.E!!

#2: Dum.Dum Suckers- Sometimes a "treat" is needed, and luckily these multi flavored suckers are free of all of the top 8 allergens. Our favorite go to for the treat bucket at the bank, we also indulge at the local post office here. I always sigh a little prayer of thanks when my little lady gets to partake right along with the other little ones.

#3: Kids With Food Allergies Foundation- I remember watching my first webinar on eating out with food allergies... After watching and absorbing as much info as I could, I felt so much more confident and hopeful. I now call ahead, carry our chef cards, and work directly with the manager any time we eat out. They have provided me with countless resources and valuable tools to keep my little lady safe. The support forums are a wonderful way to connect and collect advise from the experiences of others.

#4: Culvers- Looking for a place for a really good hamburger and fries? I was so surprised and excited when I informed the cashier of Mazzy's allergy. The cashier was obviously well trained, and promptly entered the allergen info into her computer...up on the screen in big red letters pops up PEANUT ALLERGY. The cooks note the heads up and quickly wash all prep surfaces, change their aprons, and wash their hands. This was not what I expected from a "fast food" joint, but I was so grateful I almost cried (literally).

#5: Sunbutter- A most delicious and healthy alternative to the traditional peanut butter. Our house is never without a jar or two...ever had a Sunbutter cookie? Sooooo good! Free of not only those pesky peanuts, but tree nut and gluten as well. This company not only makes a great product, but has made such a loving effort to reach out and support the food allergy community. I think I need a Sunbutter and honey sandwich :)

What are your favorite go to brands, products, and support teams? I can use all the tips I can get.
Please comment, or shout it out on the old FB page....

https://www.facebook.com/foodallergykids

Or maybe twitter is more your style...

https://twitter.com/TalkForMeTees

Why Not? I mean....it's only a childs life I guess.

 

 

So, something I have noticed, not only in myself but also as a recurring sentiment from other food allergy parents, is that there is often a feeling of guilt for "inconveniencing" everybody that might have to accommodate our child's special diet. I find myself cringing at the annoyance we must be creating, and hoping that this wont prevent further invitations for my little lady to participate. An easy example, and current hot button issue that I have yet to face, but will in time, is making school a safe place for a child with food allergies. I was talking to my Mom about this just the other day, and I heard myself say "I understand they can't make everyone change because one child has a food allergy". My very wise mother then stated plainly..."why not?"

Think about it. If you stop and think about what is at stake how can you argue any other way? It's not just a matter of a rash, or hurt feelings. In so many cases a child's life is at risk! What could be more pressing and important than a CHILDS LIFE!! Go ahead, I dare you, to give me a legitimate argument against banning food from the classroom (not the lunchroom) when you look at things in that context. In fact I would love to hear what is rolling around in your mind, I am open to hearing and learning from your point of view.

 People would be shocked if a school refused to provide a wheelchair ramp. A school would literally be shut down if they failed to maintain and comply with current fire safety standards. And how about we just get rid of recess aids and crossing guards. We do so many things as parents, teachers, and caregivers to keep children safe. But I can't help but feeling that we are failing miserably in an extremely critical area.

 I understand that many out there don't understand the science of cross contamination. And others are facing their own dietary challenges. But I would hope that we as adults can learn to understand and support each other as we all learn how to deal with this life threatening condition.

Let's find new ways to celebrate birthdays. And instead of having a Dad's and doughnuts day, lets take dad out and plant some trees or flowers. Lets get creative and find new ways to award our children for their achievements. I'm going to say it once and for all... The classroom is just not the place for food anymore.

So, food allergic parents, we need to stop apologizing and feeling guilt for protecting our child's life. It is expected of you as the guardian of your child's life and wellbeing. And, non-food allergic parents, you are blessed not to face this challenge, and please be patient with us as we do. Let's work together to create a safe and happy environment for all children to learn and grow.

Again I would love to hear your thoughts, I am sure there is much to be learned and considered.

What am I so afraid of?

 

The last year of my life has been so different than anything I've ever experienced. It feels like the rug was pulled out from under me but I still haven't hit the floor. I've been waiting for things to finally settle. I've been waiting for the thud, but instead I seem to be moving in slow motion not sure what to grab onto to prevent the crash. Don't get me wrong, my life is incredibly beautiful. I look about and can see rich blessings everywhere I turn. And on a day to day basis I am happy and hopeful and content. But, last night it hit me... I'm scared of so many things. At first when I realized this I was annoyed by my weakness, but then It came to my mind that if I wasn't growing and learning and changing I would have nothing to fear. So, what is it you ask that haunts my thoughts as I sweep the floors and do the dishes? What is it that creeps into the shadows of my dreams? I am afraid that I will not be able to provide the full and wonderful life my sweet daughter deserves. I am afraid I will fail at being successful, and I'll have to face giving up on building my own business. I am afraid that people wont understand that even a trace amount of a peanut can kill my daughter. I'm afraid of putting myself out there for people I don't know, or maybe even worse that I do know, to see me for who I really am. I'm afraid to speak out about something I am so passionate about, and to have it rejected. I'm afraid to speak up and educate people about food allergies because I don't want my actions to cause Mazzy any harm, such as bullying or exclusion from activities. I'm afraid say to much and risk annoying others or being a burden. When I look at this list I can't help but think of the scripture

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)

As I switch my mind set into this new perspective I find great wisdom and comfort. It is out of pure love for my daughter that I have started this journey, and those that don't see it that way are just not in a place to truly understand what I am facing. I am ready to take hold of the power I do have to protect her, and hope to be of sound mind as I go forth to do so. I am ready to speak for her when she cannot, and will be there as she learns to navigate and accept the challenges that come with a food allergy. I am ready to extend an arm of love and support for those that have not been able to find it elsewhere, or are fighting a battle to further the cause at the cost of their own strength. I am ready to show and learn from my vulnerabilities in order to help others find their way down the right path.

As I do this I cannot guarantee to always be right, I still have a lot to learn. And I cannot guarantee I wont stumble and be fearful again. But to those of you that understand the challenges I am facing I am hopeful that we can come together to support and guide each other. And to those of you that don't understand, and may find my constant push for this cause an annoyance, please understand it is my child's life at stake, and you would do the same.

So for now I plan to push forward. I will look for every opportunity I can to speak up at church, through the schools, at community functions etc... You will see me with my little booth complete with safe "treats" and a demonstration on cross contamination. I will post everything I find informative and useful on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter, and any other SM outlet I think might get some attention. I will continue to create awareness t-shirts for my little lady to wear to help keep her safe. I promise to be "That Mom" Because for every person that I can reach and educate there is one more child that is a little bit safer. The more I talk, the more people will understand, and the safer our children will be.

Join me in my cause....

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The Case of the Frozen Epi....

 

It all started one evening that was much like any other evening. The Hubs and I had just returned from the grocery store, and little miss was in a state of tragic exhaustion. As you know, when two year olds get tired, they also get very irritable, and when a two year old gets irritable they are very good at expressing said irritation. So my Mom brain instantly switches to survive until she's in sleep mode. The plan...I take Mazzy into the house kicking and screaming, preferably without injury to either one of us. Pin her down long enough to change into p.j.s, and snuggle her to sleep. While I'm doing this my sweetheart has volunteered to carry in the groceries. After a hectic 45 min. little lady is sleeping, and my sweetie and I are headed to bed ourselves.

So, here in Utah it is very cold in the winter. It often gets down into to teens during the night. In fact on the night of this incident I believe the low was about 15 degrees. And, as anyone with an epi pen knows, it should not be allowed to get below 67 degrees.

When I woke up the next morning it just felt like a good day. The sky was blue, and the ground a crisp and sparkly white from a light dusting of snow. Mazzy woke in a sweet and excited mood, I was having a particularly good hair day, and my darling was giggling and teasing with Mazzy while I got ready to go to our Sunday services. I was just thinking to myself what a lovely morning we are having when I reached for my lip gloss...where is it? Oh! I left it in my purse...where is my purse? After marching between my different "purse spots" several times, I finally stopped and let the dred set in. The only place I hadn't checked was the car. Without even putting a coat on, I slipped my husbands giant snow boots on and clumsily tromped out to our car. With a groan I saw it there on the other side of the car seat. My purse/ the epi pens had officially spent the night in the car freezing. It's okay, I got this I told myself...the pharmacy has another rx on file. I'll just run pick it up, and we'll be off to church as usual.  This might have been the case if our insurance hadn't just switched, but after 2 hours trying to track down our new insurance number on a Sunday, and a couple trips to the pharmacy to sort things out we still didn't have all the info we needed, and would have to wait until our insurance opened back up on Monday. The thought of living with out an epi for 24 hours terrified me.

 Mazzy stayed with us in the adult classes that Sunday, and had to miss out on her beloved nursery. And then the family party later on was an even bigger source of anxiety than usual. When it all comes down to it we were able to replace the epi's. But, I definitely learned a couple gems of wisdom in the whole fiasco of it all...

1. Have a set of "take along" epi's that stay with us on our outings. As well as a back up set that stays home in a temp controlled medicine cabinet.

2. We are so blessed to have insurance. The cash price of $876.00 almost made me faint when I heard it. My heart goes out to those that struggle to find a way of having this life saving medication on hand.

3. I need to find a way on reminding myself, even in the hectic moments, to make sure the epi's are accounted for and usable. I set an alarm on my phone. Here's to hoping that works.

And last, I learned that if my husband and I work together as a team we can take the steps needed to keep our most precious treasure safe.

The End.

What clever ways have you come up with to keep your epi's close at hand? Please tell me I'm not the only one that struggles with this. Let us know in the comment,s or on our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Talk-For-Me-Tees/215850248581440

New Graphic Available from Talk For Me Tee's!

Ta Da!! New graphic ready to go. SO excited to get this one out there. Mazzy was so pleased with her new shirt I had to bribe her to take it off for her bath. My Mom and I started this line of graphic t-shirts to help alert people of Mazzy's allergy...But we quickly realized it is so much more powerful than that. These t-shirts start a conversation, and give us the opportunity to help educate and raise awareness. Find our shirts in our Etsy shop at https://www.etsy.com/shop/TalkForMeTees?ref=si_shop. Will also be available on Amazon soon.